Dear Aviva and Gemma,

Happy 2014, girls! I thought I'd take some time to document what you've both been up to lately.

Aviva, you are 3.5 now and you continue to be a very introverted, artistic, and sensitive person. You are very set in your ways, opinionated, and for a while now, defiant. I think sometimes you get caught up in the moment of defiance and you really just lose it. We have had some horrible moments between us lately. I struggle so hard to keep my cool, to not try to shut you down using fear tactics, and to show you I love you no matter what, but I admit to things getting ugly once or twice. I have consulted the internet on numerous occasions after you finally go to bed for better tactics in parenting someone your age. You copy your sister and whine a lot, much to our chagrin, but I think that's just a little delayed sibling jealousy stuff.  You are really fixated on the bathroom now, mostly as a stalling tactic at bedtime (up to 20 trips) but I worry about anxiety surrounding it too. Keeping a close watch on you there.  You are a bit of a perfectionist and give up easily if you don't succeed right away.  I hope I can help you develop more faith in yourself and comfort knowing you are enough.

you are the brightest light of joy, brimming with new things you learned, an amazing crayon masterpiece at your fingertips, and a kind moment of sharing with your sister.  You are flourishing at school. The teachers adore you, and you are a very diligent worker. You  always choose to do art when given a choice and you also love to write letters. You've learned so much there: songs, sounds of letters, new cultures and ideas... I love to see how excited you are about learning now. I hope it continues through your years.  We really want to see where your artistic ability will take you in life, as we believe you have incredible talent even now. I wish we had more time to devote to you singly since you really love the attention  and you share so many amazing things with us when you get one on one time.

I want to try my best to treat you the age you are. You sometimes come across older and so I think we expect more. I don't want you to grow up too quickly, and I promise I will be mindful of this wherever possible.

Gemma, you are 1.5 years old now. You are a firework, running through the hall in peals of giggles, playing silly games to get us to laugh at you ( you usually laugh the hardest), or you are clenched up in fits of rage, screaming as loud as you can muster out of frustration: no snack, can't fit a puzzle piece in, don't want a nap. You cling to us when we are busy and push us away when you are busy. It is all about Gemma. But I love it. I love who you are, even if you scream like a dying dinosaur if I don't pick you up 3 seconds after your request. There is something about you I am hooked on. Maybe how sweet you are with me when we cuddle, the tight hugs you give, the random bursts of babble song, or your tiny voice finding words recently, I just want more.  I remember feeling this way with Aviva so early on and worried when it didn't come with you as strongly. You were colicky and intense and we were really thrown for a loop, but now you are amazing and intelligent and soft and sweet and funny and I want to keep you just like this forever. I feel like we have finally gotten to know each other. It is crazy how differently this all works out.

You go to daycare and you love it. We were taken aback at how quickly you felt comfortable there and love the reports of how you've taken the place over.   I recently discovered you have an upper lip tie and will take you for a consultation about having it revised this weekend. This was more than likely the cause of your poor weight gain all along. We are nervous about the procedure and your dad is just gutted about it changing your smile, but we of course want to make sure we do what is best for you.

Ok, that's it for now.

All my love to you two.