Dear Aviva,

Today I am 29 weeks pregnant with you.

Dr. Simon told me that we'll probably be meeting sooner than expected, as she will look to induce pregnancy any time after 37 weeks when you show you are fully developed and ready to get going. This is because of that umbilical cord issue we've got going on. You are growing perfectly right now, but she said it is standard procedure for a marginally inserted cord. I feel about 50% relieved to hear I won't be shlepping this huge stomach around into the depths of June, but 50% guilty because of the induction. I'm completely okay with medical interventions during your birth and even plan for an epidural, but I know being induced increases the chance of a c-section, and I feel bad for not minding that too much either. I just want you here with me already and don't care what methods are used to make that happen! I guess I should stop reading pregnancy websites that are preachy about natural childbirth. In any case, I know the end is rapidly approaching since Dr. Simon has switched my appointments from monthly to every 2 weeks. I'll start meeting the other doctors in the practice now, just in case you decide to come when Dr. Simon is not on call.

Your father and I went with your Aunt and some friends to the Brooklyn Botanical Garden this weekend. I couldn't help but think of having you there with us as we passed by all the little babies in slings wearing adorable sunhats. When we passed the fountains in front of the Brooklyn Museum your father commented on how we could bring you there to see them one day. It is so exciting to think of our lives with you in it. I feel like now we're just waiting and waiting and waiting for that time to come.

A friend was recently talking about how she plans on taking some new classes for a certification since she just isn't happy without a new challenge. I related to that statement when she said it, but I only just plugged some things in to that thought. I always grow bored of maintaining and constantly seek out something new- be it something new to learn or an event in the future to have something to look forward to. I am uneasy when things are static (even if static things are great.)

My mother has always told me she knew her life would not be complete until she had children. This was not something I ever related to. Having a child only became a thought to me after meeting your father, and even then, it took a very long time for it to become an idea we decided to fulfill. I realize I'm still on the other side of the fence while I say this, but I feel that my life right now is exactly where I need it to be in order to be happy, and as long as it remains flexible to suit any changes for the future, then I am complete. This, however, does not stop me from feeling uneasy when things are running too smooth.

I watch my friends satisfy their need for challenge through their careers and know I could not do that, as it is not important to me. I know I wouldn't be happy if my only challenge satisfaction was gained through raising a child, but when I add you to my life I realize that you will be a constant challenge for me, ever changing. Something new to learn and something exciting to look forward to for the future. Something that will keep life from running too smoothly, I'm sure. Right now I hesitate to say that a child is what I need to quell that uneasy need of mine, but I do know I am incredibly excited to take on whatever it is you bring, and to watch myself grow along side with you. I'd love to check back on this thought a few years from now and see if I will then say what my mother has always told me. Right now I can only predict that having you will make my life more complete, but then again, I still stand on the other side of the fence.


(In other news, it is very unnerving when you kick my boob, please stop.)